Recurring Rut

This is a random…yet recurring…thought post.

I’m finding myself in yet another rut. I slept over 9 hours last night and I woke up actually feeling refreshed and rested…and that feeling lasted up until I got to work and sat down at my desk.

Everything in me tells me that I should be grateful that I have a job and that it’s paying my bills…however, my brain and nervous system are like NAH, you need more!

And it’s not that I’m comparing my life to anyone…I just truly am not fulfilled in the least bit with my job…and truthfully I can’t think of one job I would actually feel satisfied with. I feel like it’s a waste of my time when I could be with my family.

I feel like Jesus is returning soon, and I should be doing something else with my time other than sitting at my job fake smiling ya know…

2 Corinthians 10:3-4 says

“We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments.”

‭‭I should use Gods word to combat these depressing thoughts and anxious feelings.

It makes my brain hurt thinking of how…in Paul’s famous words…”I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Yes he was actually talking about sinning here but it’s applicable in my case too lol I want to be 100% certain that I’m where I’m supposed to be and that I’m serving a purpose here, but it’s hard fully trusting that.

I hope you didn’t come to this post looking for a specific answer because unfortunately my friend, I don’t have it.

All I know is to trust God and to lean not on our own understanding. I do trust Him…I’m just learning to not lean on my own understanding.

Pray for me y’all.