The R Word

Religion.

There, I said it.

When I was young and throughout my teenage years, I truly despised going to church. The pastor yelled all the time, we were there forever, and I just couldn’t relate to anything that was going on.

When I got around college age, my family and I found a church that I actually enjoyed going to. The pastor was younger and I had lived through enough to relate to what was being taught.

Now I wasn’t a saint by any means, but I was able to develop my own relationship with God. Plus I had a child. I knew that I wanted to raise her believing in God, and I had to set an example.

I never believed that you HAD to go to church in order to have a relationship with God, and I still feel that way. My dad and I would get into MANY semi-heated discussions about the NEED to go to a physical church. I would always tell him that just because someone goes to church, it doesn’t make them a good person. I talk to God all throughout the day, my daughter and I pray every night, and everything I have is purely because of Him.

Most recently I was a member of a local non-denominational church. I enjoyed the sermons, I felt welcome every time I went and I even started volunteering.

We have all witnessed the divide in this nation, the senseless killings of Black people by the police and other racists and the pure hatred that is being uncovered daily. One day, our pastor shared that he had invited the President…I won’t say his name…to a panel discussion about race in America. He said that he was proud of the discussion, that not all police were bad, and that he felt like changes would be made.

I was INSTANTLY turned off from that church and I haven’t been back since.

I understand why many people are against organized religion, I truly do. I’ve changed churches enough times to know that something will almost always be revealed and I’m honestly tired.

I couldn’t understand how my pastor could fix his mouth to blatantly lie about the President being open to dialogue about fixing racism in America, when he has done nothing but promote and encourage white supremacy and hate since he stepped foot in office…and my pastor has a Black son in law and Black grandkids!

Right at this moment I can’t say that I have any plans to return to any form of organized religion…unless I somehow come across a place that eases all of my fears and doubts…but know this: I love the Lord. I’m not perfect and I will never claim to be. My faith wavers here and again just like any other person…but I know He is real and I know that He loves me.

He loves you too.

I think it is important to have SOME kind of relationship with the Lord. Especially with everything going on in the world, I just don’t see how someone couldn’t.

Religion has always been a heavy topic. There are so many different religions, different views, and different beliefs. Everyone is absolutely entitled to their own opinion.

But as for me and my house…we might not be found on a church pew anytime soon but….we will serve the Lord.

P.S. Jesus is Black.