Dating with a Child

Whew child.

My daughter is 7 years old and while I now have the most amazing boyfriend ever, it took me a GOOD while to get here.

I guess I should start by saying I am a true Cancer. I am emotional, I overthink every situation, I love hard and I love fast. Which, you guessed it, lead to be being run over and used multiple times…but I always just wanted to see the best in everyone.

There were BOYS who got mad at me for not being able to go out with them at the last moment because I had my daughter, who wanted me to bring her with me to “hang out” for the first time (which was NEVER happening), who made me feel like they were open to dating women with children when they really weren’t, and all kinds of craziness.

I have always craved a real family unit and a partner who would show my daughter what a good healthy relationship is supposed to look like, so that was my intention every single time.

I’m super grateful that I had the good sense to never bring her around these guys because she never had to wonder where so-and-so went when we inevitably stopped talking.

I think it’s important that women learn to keep their family life and dating life separate at all costs, until they’re in a long term relationship. It is not fair for the kid(s) to think they are gaining a father only to have the situation reversed. I never wanted my daughter to get comfortable with someone and then have to explain why we aren’t dating anymore.

I do realize that some people don’t have outside help to watch their kid when they want to get to know someone, and luckily I had my family, but hiring a babysitter is the next best thing.

Now I’m not here to judge, and of course to each his/her own and whatnot, but thinking of how many frogs I came into contact with…I’m happy that the relationship my daughter now gets to see me in is a happy/comfortable/stable/respectful one.

Nobody knows the future, but if I were to give any advice to another young woman who is in the dating world with a child…I would certainly tell her to rethink introducing anyone to her child until she is SURE of that relationship.

My daughter is the most important person in my entire life and I want to do everything possible to make sure she grows into an emotionally stable woman and has a good example of what a relationship is supposed to look like so she won’t be out there being done wrong by any of y’alls dusty sons 😁.