Blogmas Day 11: Mental Health Check-in
We are 11 days into Blogmas and I figured it’s a good time to do a mental health check-in. People tend to get sad during the holidays, overwhelmed and/or depressed- and it’s easy to see why. Social media has told us that we need to have the new this or the new that to be cool, and if you don’t, don’t even bother. For this reason some people spend lots of money they don’t have just to impress others. This leads to falling behind on other things and the destructive cycle continues.
The holidays are also a time most people gather with family. This makes people sad as well because not everyone has a good relationship with their family, or maybe they have people who have passed away, and this isn’t a joyous time of year for them.
It’s important to focus on how you’re feeling and make the necessary adjustments. If you need to log off of social media for a while, do that! If you need to spend time with your friends and not your family, do that!
As for me, at the moment I am doing okay. I’ve been out of work since I had my son and I am absolutely dreading leaving him to go back. That’s all I can think about and it makes me sad. With my daughter I didn’t find a job until she was almost 1. He will be almost 4 months when I return. I know that I need to work, and I’m grateful I found a job to go back to…but 4 months isn’t long enough! I wish the US was like other countries and gave parents a year of paid leave.
There’s nothing I can do to change it, so my boyfriend always tells me not to dwell on it. Easier said than done, but I’m working on it.
You guys also know that my relationship with my mom isn’t great, so that always makes me sad around this time of year too-because as much as I want to be around my family, I’d rather not be around her. I watched a show the other day with a Black mother and daughter, and they had a moment where the mom told her daughter that she wanted her to be able to tell her everything that’s going on in her life and apologized for not making her feel like she could do that. I cried y’all. I’ll never have that with my mom. I want to have that with my kids though, so I can break that cycle.
As far as gifts go, my daughter is spoiled and already has everything. She could literally only think of one thing she’d like to have when I asked for her Christmas list. So I’m not worried about that part. I do want her to have gifts to open Christmas morning though-she is only 9. We will probably get her a few random toys and clothes and call it a day. I’ve only spent money to “keep up with the Joneses” one time when I bought myself a Louis Vuitton Speedy bag, just to say I had one. And y’all, it was a waste of money 😂 it just wasn’t practical at all for me. After that, I’ve done pretty good!
I say all of this to say…please be kind to yourself. If you start to feel sad or down, know that you’re not alone. Learn your triggers and do your best to avoid them. Reward yourself for making it this far! It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant-a trip to Target to get a new mug, a tall glass of wine and a cute charcuterie, or watch your favorite movie.
Take care of yourself first, and everything else will fall into place.
